Its all about the money, no?
*screenshot taken from FB, recently. Author unknown.
Hello! I thought I could take a month’s break but then I came across this. It has been shared by many, and generally most have agreed with it. I’m not writing to disagree, but hear me out a little, yeah? (Ok, I mean read up a little…)
In fact, I had written something close to the topic here: Your Wedding Guest List.
Anyway, straight to the point/s;
1- Wedding cake
…which I had also recently written here: The Golden Tradition.
Wedding cake / cupcakes and/or its cousins are NOT compulsory. Never. It is something which can be substituted, even with something better. Its a choice. So, yeah. Save that $500.
2- Rental of Bridal Outfits 3-4 pieces.
Again, its a CHOICE. You can make the decision after you’ve considered ALL FACTORS. Yes, it is your wedding, but you shall NOT “happy happy” have everything done up by yourself, without any consultation from BOTH your parents, and future-in-laws.
NOT that you have to totally submit to their requests 100%, but there CAN be a middle ground. Once BOTH of you have understood and agreed upon how you would want your wedding to be, read up Wedding checklist, which is NOT entirely cast in stone, there will always be some “People will say…”
a) Baju Nikah – can use your baju raya set.
b) Baju Sanding / Songket – can skip this. (unless both your parents strongly disagree.)
Remember, BOTH of you NEED their blessings.
c) Evening wear – can skip this also. (Hot humid weather + void deck setting may not be favourable at all.)
…Malay weddings could have been the only last few of our remaining practices of our Malay culture. If the next generation is not keen to preserve this…
3- Overpriced Make up Artist
Note: There’s a difference between a Make Up Artist (MUA) and a Mak Andam. BIG DIFFERENCE. For this, we are going to have a Forum soon. Stay tuned.
There’s a million reason why they cost quite a sum. One of the most important to know is the products they used. HELLO, they aren’t using Cuticurra powders pls! Or any pasar malam make up products for a start. So yeah… we shall discuss this in depth, soon.
4. Trays of Hantaran / Wedding Gifts
There has been NO fixed rules about this. NONE. ZERO. NIL. NEVER. It is a mutual agreement between BOTH of you.
I have personally been to a wedding WITHOUT any trays at all, except for the one in hand for the mas kahwin. It IS possible.
Up to this point, I’m wondering do you really really know what’s going on? Or that you’ve been worried scared shitless by what you’ve seen around you without even asking why?
5- “Nothing less than SGD15K Dowry”
Eh, what? This is NOT COE, pls? Never been COE. Never been about following trends and “just because you have a good high salary stable job” – NEVER. It depends on you both, first. Ask and seek your both parents’ opinions afterwards. If they insist on that SGD$15K dowry, call me.
Back to my entry; “Your wedding guest list” – please read aloud if you have to.
#4 – STRATEGY
The scale of the event starts from available funds. Most times, this is the case.
(You should know, by now. Otherwise you might still be too young to do this.)
This is how you are supposed to pull some strings and start savings to make it up for the necessities. In fact, you should have started your WEDDING – SAV account from your first pay check. Could / should even start since NS if you have to.
6- $50,000 on wedding
…because of the CHOICES they make. Tiffany chairs, from reputable deco company for their custom made 23 feet pelamin with 7 chandeliers and fresh roses and lilies all around, the most famous catering service, serving the best-est Briyani Dam in SG, JB and some say Batam. Award winning kompang services with the best performance and vocal, specially invited real time radio DJ to play their tracks and host emcee, top notch photography, and cinematography, because they want nothing less than DILWALE standard. #kauada?
Its been THEIR choice, because they can afford, or perhaps they CAN come up with that kinda “insane” amount of money. If they can, but you cannot, then you should not do anything like what they do lah…
Yes, you CAN still have a decent wedding with a smaller price tag. Been done everywhere, maybe because these are so average, they are under the radar. What has been in the news, and made famous / viral by social media and wedding magazines are what we THINK as the standard of a typical wedding scene in Singapore.
If you are worried about getting any amount of money, especially in Singapore, you are not the only one. In fact, everyone else is. Yet, everyone else gets married, have their BTO, for some, condo… soon having kids too… life goes on.
“Rezeki, jodoh, maut… di tangan Tuhan.” Have faith.
Think again. Best to ask around, do more homework, seek more advice and most importantly, get both your parents blessings, especially after both of you are really seriously ready to take the next big step in your life.